California WildWoman

© Марина Панюкова

I ran across some pearls of wisdom while cleaning out the “Documents” file on my computer. Heaven knows how old they are, what precipitated them or when I started collecting them, but they are mine.

Today I offer them to you for whatever value you may take from them.

• Child-rearing techniques, such as correcting others’ behavior, rarely succeed with adults. (Here’s an example: When I passed through Sky Harbor International Airport in Phoenix on the way to my dad’s funeral, a little girl plowed right into my legs as I entered a ladies’ room. “I’m sorry,” the girl said. In my brain-fog, I just looked at her, silent. The mother snapped, “She said she’s sorry!” I replied, “My dad just died, and I’m sorry, too.” Obviously, I didn’t give the correct reply; she gave me a dirty look and stalked off.)
• Whining makes adults seem childish. The better grown-up alternative is finding solutions to problems and applying them.
• People are far more likely to overlook or to be unaware of your needs than to mistreat you intentionally.
• Quit applying your personal expectations to others. Instead, actively create the opportunity for them to give you what you need. If they don’t bite, at least you tried.
• There are times to complain publicly and times to complain privately.
• Others’ behavior usually is not about you.
• Work on outgrowing the need to seek validation for every little thing you consider to be a success; we sought our parents’ validation as children, but as adults we know, expect and accept our own capabilities.
• Assumptions are the worst thing you can do to yourself.
• Before passing judgment, consider that you truly have no idea where the other person is on life’s path.

Let’s trade: What pearls of wisdom guide you in your life? (To comment, please click on “Leave a comment” under the date next to the headline.)